Rise of the Serpent
by CleverPhoenix
Summary: Hogwarts never has been a peaceful place, but when the homunculi show up in disguise to make contact with Voldemort, it becomes chaos. Add Al, Mustang and Hawkeye to the mix... it’s going to be a long year. Pride!Ed fic. HPFMA Xover. BBI Universe.
1. Prologue

**Rise of the Serpent**

**Summary: **Hogwarts never has been a peaceful place, but when the homunculus show up in disguise to make contact with Voldemort, it becomes chaos. Add Al, Mustang and Hawkeye to the mix... it's going to be a long year. Pride!Ed fic. HPFMA Xover. Set in OOTP, spoilers for those who haven't seen the movie and/or read the book series up to there. BBI universe.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or Harry Potter. All I own is the plot. Otherwise, in OOTP Harry would have probably joined Voldemort or become very angsty and Ed would have become Pride at the end.

**Warnings:** There will undoubtedly be bad language, possible gore (not as much as my other fic mind you) as well as possible bashing. If I don't like a character, you'll be sure to find out. Pride!Ed will not act like at the end of BBI. He'll act noticeably angrier, VERY sarcastic and more than a little insane. Also, he'll be very violent. The ending of BBI will also be slightly ignored as Al and Roy are alive. Same excuse as my last fic. Those who can't be bothered enough to read that fic, it'll be revealed in the story for you. Characters will be possibly slightly OOC.

**Author's Notes:** Hey! Look, I know I'm meant to be working on Bit Beast Chaos (don't worry, new chapter is on the way!), but I got this story idea into my head and just couldn't get it out. This is my second Pride!Ed story, the first being Empty Gold so I guess you could see it as a slight sequel. Also, for those who have read Empty Gold, this will be set roughly a year after the encounter with Pride!Ed in the cemetery. Oh that reminds me, Amitris is a country like Canada or whatever in this.

Pride will be OOC compared to my last fic. This is because of hanging with Envy for too long and he began to develop his own personality. He has **ALL** of Ed's memories, but chooses to ignore them and live his own way. The other homunculi actually **LIKE** him now and see him as family, particularly Envy who sees him as a brother because they are now so similar. Sloth will be from the anime to make it easier on me because I haven't read the manga yet. No FMA pairings but I may choose to imply Royai in later chapters depending on my mood. There may be HP pairings. Whew! That's all, time to begin the fic!

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Chapter 1 Prequel-Plans

It was a cool summer evening and Dumbledore wished nothing more than to leave the stuffy office to go for a walk on the school grounds. Instead however, he was stuck indoors, listening to the arrangements of Furher King Bradley about foreign exchange students as well as some of their teachers.

"-so five should be enough." The Furher finished, obviously unaware of Dumbledore spacing out for the previous five minutes of discussion, or in fact on his side just listening, but his secretary seemed to notice for she handed him a sheet.

"Just read this form, it includes every detail about the whole arrangement. It also requires your signature." Juliet Douglas explained smoothly, no trace of emotion present on her tone. Dumbledore figured it was normal to act like that when in the military. Nodding politely, he gently took the sheet and quickly scanned over it, noting the terms and conditions as well as agreements. It was undoubtedly a beneficial contract for both sides: it would strengthen the countries unity and allow for a possible treaty. No doubts in his head, Dumbledore grabbed a nearby quill, signing in the correct places near the ministers already present signatures. The Furher smiled and nodded as he took the contract, a slight twinkle akin to Dumbledore's own appearing in his visible eye.

"Thank you Professor Dumbledore. The students and their teachers will arrive on the Hogwarts Express on September 1st. Good day." Now that the plans were made, the leader of Amitris and his secretary grabbed some floo powder, threw it into the fireplace then stepped into the emerald flames. With a shout, the blaze erupted, and then disappeared into ash, leaving no trace of the beings once present. Dumbledore smiled at their departure. They had certainly learned that trick quickly from him after only one demonstration. As he was now free to go, Dumbledore walked out the door, fully intent on enjoying the rest of the evening.

Back in the Furher's office, they had arrived back, the Furher wearing a slightly evil smirk plastered on his face. Twisting her head to look a slightly bulge on the edge of her sleeve, Juliet smiled lightly and whispered, as if afraid of being over heard.

"Envy, you can come out now. It's time to tell the others to prepare." With a blinding flash of white light, a bug crawled off the sleeve and transformed into a young male teen with long green spiky hair. The teen smirked before nodding and transforming once again, this time into the form of an eagle. He flew out the window, no doubt going to inform the others of the newly made arrangements. Turning back to her leader, Juliet nodded at him, and then left the office through the front door. As Furher Bradley, otherwise known as Wrath, stood alone in the spacious office, his smirk widened. There was no doubt in his mind that Sloth was waiting for him outside so that they could return to the hideout together, Wrath began to walk over to the door, only stopping as he rested his hand on the handle and turned slightly.

"It has begun." He whispered, and then opened the door, following his fellow sin. The door closed softly behind him as he disappeared into the night.

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Okay I know its short, but I couldn't drag it out any longer. This is just the prequel, something to show how the whole mess started. The next chapter will be at least a thousand words, no authors note included. I'll update again soon. In the meantime, REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	2. Beginning the Train Ride from Hell

**Rise of the Serpent**

**Summary: **Hogwarts never has been a peaceful place, but when the homunculus show up in disguise to make contact with Voldemort, it becomes chaos. Add Al, Mustang and Hawkeye to the mix... it's going to be a long year. Pride!Ed fic. HPFMA Xover. Set in OOTP, spoilers for those who haven't seen the movie and/or read the book series up to there. BBI universe.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA, Harry Potter or anything else in this story other than the plot. Also, I apologize in advance if you feel I have stolen the idea of Pride's power, I had this in mind before I started the fic.

**Warnings:** There will undoubtedly be bad language, possible gore (not as much as my other fic mind you) as well as possible bashing. If I don't like a character, you'll be sure to find out. Pride!Ed will not act like at the end of BBI. He'll act noticeably angrier, VERY sarcastic and more than a little insane. Also, he'll be very violent. The ending of BBI will also be slightly ignored as Al and Roy are alive. Same excuse as my last fic. Those who can't be bothered enough to read that fic, it'll be revealed in the story for you. Characters will be possibly slightly OOC.

**Author's Note: **Here's the new chapter already. By the way, due to updating two multi chapter crossovers at once, I won't be able to update that often. This will feature a lot of humour compared to my other fics before this and, as always, will feature angst. How much is still undecided. All of the characters look like they do in the anime/BBI when it comes to FMA characters. Greed WILL be in this, as BBI (I think) is set before he's killed. As for why he's actually working with the homunculi, they called a truce in this AU. Okay, time to start.

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Chapter 2 Beginning the Train Ride from Hell

_Timeskip from meeting to September 1__st_

Pride leaned against the window, idly watching the students approaching the crimson train that he sat on. Envy sat next to him, looking at his fingernails interestedly while glancing occasionally out the window like Pride. His long green hair was held in his headband as usual and he was dressed in his usual black attire, including no shoes. Pride was also dressed normally, with his golden lochs spilling down his shoulders. Across from them, Lust, Greed and Gluttony sat in deep discussion (except Gluttony who was currently trying to eat the seat) about the plans.

"So I'm going to be the Self-Defence teacher and you two will be my assistants? Okay, I can see that. But still, why did Father want Gluttony along?" Greed questioned with a sense of irritation quickly building in his mind. He would have preferred more of this information before he left rather than as they sat on a train waiting for some brats. Lust smirked at him.

"Probably to get rid of any evidence if someone finds out what we are or why we're here. That and he seems to listen to me." Lust explained smoothly, in her normal low yet elegant tone. Her black dress, which seemed to hug her curves and was very revealing of her top half, shimmered as she shifted in her seat to glance at Gluttony, who was biting the seat. Raising an elegant eyebrow, she turned to Greed again to gauge his reaction at the hungry sin's actions, to find he was currently watching the two teenage sins on the other compartment with amusement. The black coats which they were all, except Gluttony who they were unable to find one for and because they thought he would eat it, wore to hide their markings as they came to the station and to give the impression they were human as it was cold but they could not feel it, were covering them almost completely. They both suited each wearer as trench coats but as Pride and Envy had buttoned theirs all the way up, it made them appear to be pale floating heads. With the leaning together somewhat, it seemed even more strange.

Greed had laughed for what seemed to be almost an hour but what was in fact ten minutes when he first saw them, before Pride and Envy punched him simultaneously. The result of this was that he sported two black eyes, making him look like a panda, for three and a half hours before they finally healed. Lust herself couldn't see what was so funny about it. If anything, she believed it looked slightly cute, though Envy and Pride would kill her if they found out. As she watched Envy though, she noticed his slight twitch as he sensed their gazes. Quickly averting her eyes to watching Gluttony in curiosity and amusement as he began to tear sections out of the seat and eat it, Lust couldn't contain her smug smirk as Envy's yelling reached her ears as he noticed Greed's staring.

"You bastard! Are you some sort of paedophile or something?! Why are you looking at me like that?!" Envy yelled, catching the attention of the blond sin, who turned to Envy then glanced at Greed before quickly looking back to the green haired sin with a questioning look.

"What's he done now?" He asked lazily, not expecting much of an answer. To his surprise, and Greed's horror, he was given a full answer with many unsaid details.

"Greed is, once again, staring at us like some pervert in a strippers club! I swear I even saw some drool coming out! Besides, I think he wants to laugh at us _again,_ for the coats." Envy growled. Pride's hazy golden eyes filled with annoyance and anger as Lust and Gluttony began to count.

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1! Cue explosion!" And sure enough, Envy and Pride pounced on the now cowering Greed. The black haired sin eventually managed to throw them off after five minutes however, immediately fixing his hair and straightening his vest, which had been moved during the rumble. Narrowing her violet slitted eyes dangerously at the sins in a glare, Lust spoke calmly but with an irritated edge in her tone.

"Remember the mission, we have to-"She began, only to be cut off by Pride.

"Make contact with the so called Dark Lord. Yeah, I know, we've been told like fifty times now." He injected. Envy smirked as he looked at Lust's slightly seething features before she got herself back under control and nodding.

"Good. Make sure you behave now, at least slightly anyway. We don't want to draw attention to ourselves." She explained at Envy's slightly confused look. As she finished, she heard a slight snigger and turned to Pride who was shaking in suppressed mirth. Envy too noticed this and raised a questioning eyebrow to which Pride burst out laughing. The sins looked at him cautiously, now seriously wondering about his mental state as he laughed for nearly a minute straight. When he finally quietened, he pointed out the window as he spoke, practically dribbling with sarcasm.

"Little late for that, don't you think?" He motioned out the compartment doors window where, as he said, many people were looking inside with a mixture of curiosity and anxiety, though the latter was probably directed towards Gluttony's open display of eating the seat. Envy looked at the spectator's in amusement before grinning psychotically, with Pride soon following suit. The onlookers, highly disturbed by this, ran off, no doubt to the other side of the train to get away from the insane sins. Throughout it all however, Gluttony still continuously ate at the seat. Unable to take it anymore, Lust smacked Gluttony.

"Wait until we get to the castle, Gluttony. They have an entire feast up there that you can gorge yourself on. I bet it's better than old seats." She told the disappointed fat sin, who immediately perked up again at the word feast.

"Feast, feast, feast!" He chanted happily. Greed looked at Lust, and then both sighed. This was going to be a long year, and it hadn't even started yet.

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I'm actually starting to pity Lust right about now for having to deal with all this. You might have noticed that most of this is done from Lust's point of view. Don't worry, this is just until they get to Hogwarts, then it's mostly Envy and Pride. By the way, golden trio coming up in the next chapter as well. However, Al, Mustang and Hawkeye will be arriving in a later chapter for those interested, but I'm not telling when. Until next time, REVIEW!!!


	3. Golden Meetings and Sinful Encounters

**Rise of the Serpent**

**Summary: **Hogwarts never has been a peaceful place, but when the homunculus show up in disguise to make contact with Voldemort, it becomes chaos. Add Al, Mustang and Hawkeye to the mix... it's going to be a long year. Pride!Ed fic. HPFMA Xover. Set in OOTP, spoilers for those who haven't seen the movie and/or read the book series up to there. BBI universe.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own FMA, BBI or Harry Potter. They each belong to their respective owners. All I own is the plot. Once again, if you feel I have copied Pride's powers from you, I'm sorry but I had this in mind for a while.

**Warnings:** There will undoubtedly be bad language, possible gore (not as much as my other fic mind you) as well as possible bashing. If I don't like a character, you'll be sure to find out. Pride!Ed will not act like at the end of BBI. He'll act noticeably angrier, VERY sarcastic and more than a little insane. Also, he'll be very violent. The ending of BBI will also be slightly ignored as Al and Roy are alive. Same excuse as my last fic. Those who can't be bothered enough to read that fic, it'll be revealed in the story for you. Characters will be possibly slightly OOC.

**Author's Notes: **WOW!!! I never expected so many reviews just after posting, but I'm grateful all the same. Thank you The Spirit Alchemist, DarkKitsune18, TeamJempwarth and musicvamp55 for all your reviews and everyone else who favorited or put this story on alert!

This story will always have some humour in it, but it will get more and more serious as it goes on. When Al, Mustang and Hawkeye finally arrive though, it will get a lot more angst. Here's the next chapter!

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Chapter 3 Golden Meetings and Sinful Encounters

Harry was annoyed. No, he was downright _pissed_. Everyone looked at him as if he was insane, with more than a little whispering following his every step. Why didn't they believe him?! He had just seen Cedric die and had to participate (not of his own will) in the resurrection of the bastard who killed his parents as well as hundreds of others! The ministry had helped neither his nor Dumbledore's cause at all and, if anything, had started the rumours of insanity. To top matters off, Dumbledore was ignoring him when he needed answers!

"Hey Harry," a timid voice muttered behind him, interrupting his furious chain of thought. Said boy turned around to be face to face with Neville, one of the few people who _did_ believe him. Neville was clutching what appeared to be a twitching cactus and he seemed to be nervous. "I think I see a compartment over there that everyone's avoiding. Do you want to look in and see if there's any room?" They had been wandering around the train for half an hour and were beginning to get desperate. Any empty compartment or at least a compartment with space would do. Harry nodded.

"We may as well check it out."

Meanwhile, back at the sins' compartment, Lust had finally gotten them to calm down, no thanks to Greed. Said sin had once again wound up Envy which resulted in another brutal clash between the two, plus Pride who joined in a minute later. Now Envy and Pride taking turns telling each other gruesome horror stories, graphic images included. All of the other sins, even Gluttony, had to ensure they were unable to hear the stories as Greed had listened in for a moment, then ended up running to the nearest toilet to puke seconds later. Gluttony was occupying his time thinking of all the food in the castle, while Greed plotted out ways to get girls. Lust herself was simply reading a novel she had picked up while in Diagon Alley. It had been an interesting experience to say the least: Gluttony had tried to eat everything in the pet shop; Greed had somehow separated from them to go down Knockturn Alley; Envy and Pride had stolen things from every shop but never were caught and Lust herself had been hard pressed to not murder a greasy black haired man who called her a whore. All in all, a very eventful shopping trip.

The wand shop had been particularly eventful, and in ruins by the time they left. As they were not taking classes and their class did not require them, Lust, Greed and Gluttony didn't need to buy wands. However, Envy and Pride still did. Envy went through a good fifty wands before they finally found one that suited him: twelve inches dragon heartstring and yew. When they were going through the wands however, the green haired sin had found a wand that blew up anything it was pointed at when he waved it. Needless to say, he had been very entertained with it and wanted to buy it, had the shopkeeper not finally caught up with him. His chosen wand had created a floating ouroboros composed of emerald flames, much to all the sins' shock. Pride as well had gone through at least fifty wands before finally coming upon the right one, much to the shopkeeper's horror: ten inches phoenix feather and yew. It had produced a floating crimson ouroboros, once again composed of flames. All of them couldn't understand the man's distress at the choice of wand so simply dismissed it as a wizard thing.

A sudden knock on the door interrupted her musings however and everyone looked up. Envy, annoyed that his story had been interrupted, stomped over to the door and threw it open, startling those on the other side. He smirked at their shocked expressions before frowning again.

"Who are you and what the hell do you want?" He snarled angrily, causing the two to flinch slightly. The ebony haired boy with glasses looked happily surprised for some reason at the first question, then grimaced slightly and answered for both him and the round faced boy who was with him.

"I'm Harry Potter and this is Neville Longbottom. There was nowhere else to sit and we were wondering if we could come in here." He spoke calmly but the sins could pick up the trace of fear lacing his voice. Was he afraid of them or their reaction? This was soon proved to be the latter as Envy surprisingly shrugged and plopped back in his seat, causing Harry to sigh in relief. Neville still seemed nervous but this was understandable. After all, who didn't when you were in a compartment with five people inside that all looked strange and felt dangerous? They both walked in and sat down, next to Envy. To Lust, who had known all of the sins for a while now, felt it was a lose-lose situation for the boys: Gluttony would no doubt try to eat them and Envy might kill them half-way there. Of course the sins knew of Harry Potter, they were planning to possibly catch the boy as a possible sign of peace to the one known as the Dark Lord. This meant they were supposed to keep him alive, which seemed more and more difficult as he was now sitting next to Envy. Neville soon spoke up, nervousness etched deeply in his tone and face.

"Who are you guys? We've never seen you around school before." He asked. Pride smirked and looked at them, quickly unnerving them with his eyes.

"We're what you would call exchange students, or exchange teachers in the case of those three." He replied slightly snidely as he pointed at Lust, Greed and Gluttony. "As for my name, it's Pride." The two visitors seemed confused and slightly amused at the name, until the others spoke up.

"I'm Envy." The green haired teen growled.

"Call me Greed." The black haired male replied casually.

"My name is Lust. The man next to me is Gluttony." The only woman purred. Gluttony, who had ignored them all this time, finally perked up at the sound of his name. To say Harry and Neville were shocked would be an understatement. _"Who has eyes like that?! They've all got violet eyes with slits except Pride and Gluttony, who don't even have pupils! Besides, why are they named that, like after the Seven Deadly Sins that Aunt Petunia always raged on about? But even worse, why do they feel dangerous just to be around and all the sudden come on exchange?! Something's definitely going on here..."_ Harry thought both angrily and confusedly. Both Pride and Envy noticed his expression and frowned slightly. Was he on to them already? Before anymore questions could be asked however, Ron and Hermione burst in, looking tired and slightly relieved.

"There you are Harry! We've been looking everywhere for you! Oh, hi Neville!" The girl exclaimed. It was then that the red head finally noticed the sins who were watching them curiously.

"Who are you lot?" He burst out, causing Hermione to winch at his brashness. Greed merely raised an eyebrow before answering.

"We should be asking you the same thing." He replied smoothly, smirking at Ron's impression of a goldfish following his answer. Hermione cut in quickly before this could escalate any further. She had a feeling that these guys wouldn't mind or struggle with beating them up or killing them.

"I'm Hermione Granger and he's Ron Weasley. We're friends of Harry and Neville. Can we sit here?" Hermione explained calmly, trying to ignore Ron's protests at asking instead of barging in. This time it was Pride who shrugged. Nodding gratefully, Hermione asked the question, albeit more politely, that Ron had asked moments ago. "What are your names?" The sins once again responded.

"It's Pride."

"I'm Envy."

"Name's Greed."

"My name's Lust and he's Gluttony." Ron spent nearly five minutes staring at Lust until Hermione harshly elbowed him in the ribs. Both newcomers soon had similar thoughts to Harry and Neville. Ron couldn't contain his thoughts however.

"Why do you have such strange names? What were your parents thinking?!" Ron asked rather loudly. The result was instantaneous. Envy and Pride both leapt upon him, the only thing holding them back being the other sins, who themselves looked murderous.

"Don't you dare talk about that bastard!" Envy yelled as he struggled against Lust's grip.

"Don't question our names! That deserting bastard gave them to us whether we like them or not!" Pride growled from where Greed was restraining him. Ron was now cowering in his seat, nodding nervously from behind Harry. Finally calming down somewhat, the two furious sins ripped their arms from the others grasp and sat down again, glaring at Ron with eyes that promised death. The others soon followed this look. It was clear Ron was destined for an eventful year with the group.

Turning to Lust, as she seemed the friendliest of the group, Hermione asked another question, hoping they wouldn't explode like before. She was lucky.

"We've never seen you before, why are you coming to Hogwarts?" With a sigh, Lust simply echoed Pride's earlier words to Harry when he asked the same question.

"We're exchange teachers, or exchange students to those two." She replied pointing at Envy and Pride. Harry raised an eyebrow, remembering Pride's earlier words: they were practically identical. Nodding enthusiastically, Hermione now asked another question that was on all of their minds.

"What subject are you teaching?" Greed smirked.

"Self-Defence, it's kind of like Defence against the Dark Arts except you don't use your wand. It's physical training in case you lose your wand or whatever." Harry began to nod, seeing that it made sense. With a war approaching, they would need all the help they could get. It was silent for the rest of the journey, with the only noises made being Gluttony's stomach or Pride and Envy's gruesome stories once again (the others, much to the other sins relief, had run to the toilet as Greed had when they made the mistake of listening in). It was soon dark, causing Hermione to leave to change and Lust to simply read her book with more focus as the boys (excluding Greed and Gluttony) began to change. Envy and Pride simply took off their coat, causing the visitors to the sins compartment to stare at the intricate tattoos and feminine clothing, and then put the other clothes on top. With a grunt, they slid on some combat boots, completely refusing to wear, what Pride had so elegantly described as, "flat shoes for losers or know-it-alls".

Slowly but surely, the train ground to a halt, finally arriving at Hogsmeade station, much to the pleasure of all on board. As the students scrambled to get off, Harry and his friends simply waved goodbye walked off, leaving the sins still standing in the compartment with smirks plastered on their faces. They couldn't believe their luck at finding the boy so quickly, but now they had bigger matters to deal with.

"Let's go." Pride growled, slightly stating the obvious, as they began to depart from the train. The crowds parted easily for them, with Pride and Envy glaring at those who stood in their way, and soon enough they had reached the thestral pulled carriages. It seemed that most of the students couldn't see the strange winged horses for some reason as they often commented "what pulled the carriages?" Plopping down in the uncomfortable seats, only one thought ran through all of the sins heads at that moment. _"Time for the year to start!"_

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Yup that's the chapter done and as you easily saw, this chapters much more serious than the previous one. I figure, the ones with just the homunculi will be funnier than those where they have to talk to a lot of people. Please leave comments and your opinions on what House Envy and Pride should be in. They're both going in the same one and I've got an idea but want your personal opinions. Until next time, REVIEW!!!


	4. The Chaotic Sorting

**Rise of the Serpent**

**Summary: **Hogwarts never has been a peaceful place, but when the homunculus show up in disguise to make contact with Voldemort, it becomes chaos. Add Al, Mustang and Hawkeye to the mix... it's going to be a long year. Pride!Ed fic. HPFMA Xover. Set in OOTP, spoilers for those who haven't seen the movie and/or read the book series up to there. BBI universe.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything except the plot. Once again, I apologize if you feel I have stolen Pride's power idea from you, I've had it in my mind for a while now.

**Warnings:** There will undoubtedly be bad language, possible gore (not as much as my other fic mind you) as well as possible bashing. If I don't like a character, you'll be sure to find out. Pride!Ed will not act like at the end of BBI. He'll act noticeably angrier, VERY sarcastic and more than a little insane. Also, he'll be very violent. The ending of BBI will also be slightly ignored as Al and Roy are alive. Same excuse as my last fic. Those who can't be bothered enough to read that fic, it'll be revealed in the story for you. Characters will be possibly slightly OOC.

**Author's Notes:** YAY! Another new update today for you! Thank you Viki for helping me pick a house for Envy and Pride and for everyone else reviewing as well as favoriting this story! The reason for Envy and Pride's wand choices is rather simple. Yew means death, as they both died, so they both got that. Envy got a dragon heartstring one because of how he acts and the connection to serpents. Pride though, as he had a phoenix, which symbolizes rebirth, is pretty self explanatory. You could see this as a connection to Edward as well if you chose to. Originally, I was going to do this for both but figured that would be too easy so I mixed it up slightly. Enough stalling, here's the new chapter!

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Chapter 4 The Chaotic Sorting

The carriages began to long journey up to the castle, illuminated by the moonlight and glow of a huge structure beyond the trees. As the sins craned their heads to get a better look as they passed the lake, Gluttony feel out and into the lake. It was like witnessing a whale falling back into the sea as a huge wave rose up and washed over the sins' carriage as well as ten others. When the other now wet students poked their heads out to glare at the sins, they immediately heard one thing that stopped them all immediately: Pride and Envy yelling.

"YOU DAMN IDIOT!!! NOW WE'RE ALL SOAKED!!! GET YOUR FAT ASS BACK IN THIS CARRIAGE NOW BEFORE I SEND YOU BACK TO THE GATE!!!" Envy screeched. Pride's comments, just as loud, caused many students to faint, and also fall into the lake. They could never be repeated near virgin ears. The falling students did seem to have an adverse effect on the raging sins however: they all burst out laughing. They were laughing so hard in fact; they didn't hear Gluttony clamper back into the carriage muttering an apology as he came.

Soon after the sins once again calmed down, the carriages set off once again, leaving the floundering students still within the lake. Envy smirked at their screams of "SOMEBODY GET ME OUT OF THIS DAMN LAKE!!!" Pride took particular pleasure in telling them to "Shut your damn traps before I shove you down Gluttony's throat." Everyone soon shut up.

As the carriages finally began to pull up outside the endless castle, the sins caught their first actual sighting of it. It certainly was quite impressive looking. But their staring stopped moments later, deciding they had seen more impressive things. They were soon met outside by a stern looking old woman who, in Envy's opinion, reminded him of a certain trigger-happy blond lieutenant.

"Welcome to Hogwarts. You two," She pointed at Envy and Pride, who stood boredly as she begun. "will follow me with the first years. The rest of you, as teachers, should follow Professor Snape." She gestured to a greasy black haired man, who Lust immediately felt a strong urge to kill: this was the man who called her a whore. The man also seemed to remember her, for he smirked at her murderous expression at him.

"We'll talk tonight Lust." Envy muttered, and Lust nodded, then proceeded to pass along the message to the others while trying not to kill or maim Snape. She seemed to be failing as they went further along, the potions teacher's robe seemed to mysteriously fall apart after every snide comment to the beautiful sin. By the end of the corridor, he may as well have been only in his boxers. Both sins then turned back to the woman who was watching them leave with an amused gaze. She soon turned back to the teenage sins and gestured for them to follow. Feeling unnervingly like sheep, they did so quickly.

Moments later, they were behind a huge crowd of, in Pride's professional opinion, "midgets", waiting in a rather large room while waiting to enter the main hall to be sorted. The woman had left saying something about a sorting and four houses. Envy and Pride weren't really paying much attention at this point, having lost interest at the mention of feast. They were wondering what Gluttony was going to do when he saw it. After being tossed more than a few weird glances though, both sins began to talk loudly about what they thought the sorting could be.

"Well Pride, what do you reckon the sorting test is? I heard that it's where you kill a dragon while blindfolded!" Envy commented in mock excitement. Many first years paled in fright while beginning to recite their will. Pride smirked then pretended to nod enthusiastically.

"Nope, I heard you have to kill a full blown witch or wizard who already graduated while they aim to kill! But that's not the best part! The best bit is that those who fail are permanently banned from Hogwarts. Then, those who die have all future relatives banned as well while being cursed forever!" Half the new students fainted in pure terror and anxiety while those who didn't began to look for a way to drop out and were as pale as snow. The sins however, burst out laughing at their joke on the foolish midgets.

After a few moments, the students began to come to again, only to faint once more as ghosts floated through while greeting the students. Envy and Pride however, said hello, used to seeing stranger sights, and soon began talking about the weather. The ghosts though, heavily used to screams of fright, found this strange and slightly unnerving so soon flew away into the hall. When both sins saw this, they grinned. They took immense pleasure in being able to scare all creatures, even those dead. It seemed they had once again proved that statement.

"Nothing like a good scare, eh Pride?" Envy remarked quietly, causing Pride to nod as he answered.

"So true." He whispered wistfully, as if wishing there was far more in the world. The truth was that he was indeed thinking that, as well as Envy. Their musings were soon interrupted by Professor McGonagall, who had introduced herself earlier when the sins hadn't been listening. She looked at the unconscious students curiously for a moment before glaring around the room.

"Who did this?!" She growled like Envy while pissed when Gluttony ate his favourite food. Pride merely glanced at her with a bored expression on his face.

"They fainted when they saw the ghosts." He explained. Well, it was technically true. That particular faint had been the ghosts. McGonagall looked at him sharply for a moment then nodded with a sigh. She soon pulled out her wand and, muttering a few words of gibberish, the students began to stir. After the weak-stomached first years began to rise, McGonagall began to speak as she had planned to before the interruption.

"Now form a line and follow me." She barked, causing many to jump and follow her command. Both sins snorted at the military likeness before walking straight to the back. Was this a military academy and did they expect them to follow orders? "_HA! No chance in hell!"_ both sins thought in response to their mental question. Immortals don't follow mortals; it was as simple as that. However in this case, they would pretend to, while thinking up vile curses that would no doubt be useful later.

The long line of newcomers walked into the Great Hall, Professor McGonagall leading the group. Immediately, Envy and Pride drew stares from all directions, being bigger and having unusual looks. After all, it wasn't often that you saw a five foot eight first year with spiked green hair like a palm tree or another with pure gold hair and golden eyes. It seemed the girls (plus some boys) enjoyed the view as many began to giggle and blush at the sight, causing the two sins to sweat with fear at the identical thought. _"SHIT!!! More fanboys/girls! Just when I thought we got away!"_

Looking up and away from the growing number stares they were receiving, the sins scanned the hall, quickly analyzing their surroundings. The other sins weren't here quite yet but there was a spare seat at the table that was in no way accounted for. It seemed there was another mystery teacher that they didn't know about. Oh well, worry about that later. The sins looked up and raised an impressed eyebrow but didn't gap and gasp when they finally saw the enchanted ceiling. That wasn't something you saw every day. But the sins, being immortal and constantly on the move, had seen much more interesting sights. These included Greed spilling maple syrup down himself, causing Gluttony to chase him around the area thinking he was food. Needless to say, everyone laughed loudly when it happened. The only reason it ended was because Envy sprayed him with a nearby hose, removing the sweet condiment.

Breaking them out of their musings, an ancient wizard walked into the hall at that moment, followed by the other sins. His aged face was carved with lines and his nose broken at least twice. But this wasn't what surprised the sins. He had a flowing white beard that he could probably use as a belt as well as a midnight blue robe with golden stars scattered across the fabric, making him look the very definition of a typical storybook wizard. They all watched in mild interest as Professor McGonagall returned from who knows where, clutching a stool and ragged hat. She sat them down in front of the staff table and turned to the newcomers, allowing a scroll to unroll in her hands. Just as she finished this, the hat opened the brim and began to sing, much to the sins annoyance. They were hungry!

_In times of old when I was new_

_And Hogwarts barely started_

_The founders of our noble school_

_Thought never to be parted:_

_United by a common goal,_

_They had the selfsame yearning,_

_To make the world's best magic school_

_And pass along their learning._

"_Together we will build and teach!"_

_The four good friends decided_

_And never did they dream that they_

_Might some day be divided,_

_For there were such friends anywhere_

_As Slytherin and Gryffindor?_

_Unless it was the second pair_

_Of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw?_

_So how could it have gone so wrong?_

_How could such friendships fail?_

_Why, I was there and so I can tell_

_The whole sad, sorry tale._

_Said Slytherin, "We'll teach just those_

_Whose ancestry is purest."_

_Said Ravenclaw, "We'll teach those whose_

_Intelligence is surest."_

_Said Gryffindor, "We'll teach all those_

_With brave deeds to their name."_

_Said Hufflepuff, "I'll teach the lot,_

_And treat them just the same."_

_These differences caused little strife_

_When they first came to light,_

_For each of the four founders had_

_A house in which they might_

_Take only those they wanted, so,_

_For instance, Slytherin_

_Took only pure-blood wizards_

_Of great cunning, just like him,_

_And only those of sharpest mind_

_Were taught by Ravenclaw_

_While the bravest and the boldest_

_Went to daring Gryffindor._

_Good Hufflepuff, she took the rest,_

_And taught them all she knew,_

_Thus the houses and their founders_

_Retained friendships firm and true._

_So Hogwarts worked in harmony_

_For several happy years,_

_But then discord crept among us_

_Feeding on our faults and fears._

_The houses that, like pillars four,_

_Had once held up the school,_

_Now turned upon each other and,_

_Divided, sought to rule._

_And for a while it seemed the school_

_Must meet an early end,_

_What with duelling and with fighting_

_And the clash of friend on friend_

_And at last there came a morning_

_When old Slytherin departed_

_And though the fighting died out_

_He left us quite downhearted._

_And never since the founders four_

_Were whittled down to three_

_Have the houses been united_

_As they were once meant to be._

_And now the Sorting Hat is here_

_And you all know the score:_

_I sort you into houses_

_Because that is what I'm for,_

_But this year I'll go further,_

_Listen closely to my song:_

_Though condemned to split you_

_Still I worry that it's wrong,_

_Though I must fulfil my duty_

_And must quarter every year_

_Still I wonder whether Sorting_

_May not bring the end I fear._

_Oh, know the perils, read the signs,_

_The warning history shows,_

_For our Hogwarts is in danger_

_From external, deadly foes_

_But inside the threat still lives_

_Those marked will bring us apart,_

_And when raised, they will destroy_

_In a great inhuman art_

_And we must unite inside her_

_Or we'll crumble from within_

_I have told you, I have warned you..._

_Let the Sorting now begin._

Applause broke out across the hall, but scattered whispers and mutterings punctured through in all ears within the room. Apparently the hat didn't advise the school very often. The sins though didn't notice this: all they could focus on was the part near the end of the song. It was a warning against them. This could be bad if someone figures it out. Quickly schooling their shocked expressions, they watched McGonagall once again approach the first years, but she too sported a slightly surprised expression.

"When I call your name, you will come up here, I will place the Sorting hat on your head and you will be sorted. As soon as you are, go and join your house." She explained. Watching the few hesitant yet relieved nods, she began the ceremony. "Abercrombie, Euan." The sins quickly bored after this and tuned out, only clapping when they heard the others do so. Moments later, to Pride and Envy anyway, they were the only ones left after the first years sorting. The hall once again erupted into whispers as the ancient wizard, who the sins now realized was Dumbledore, stood.

"This year, before I announce the changes in staffing as well as the usual notices, I would like to introduce two foreign exchange students from the military country Ametris. Please welcome Envy and Pride." He gestured at the two sins, who grinned and looked at each other, evil ideas flooding into their minds. Before they could use any other these ideas however, McGonagall beckoned them forward with another, albeit much smaller list.

"Pride." She called, said sin approaching her with a bored expression on his face. He sat down and the hat was placed on his head, not blocking out is vision like the previous first years.

"_Well, well." _A voice snidely seemingly whispered within his mind, causing him to stiffen. _"You're unusual now, aren't you?"_

"Get_ on with it, damn hat." _Pride growled mentally, inducing a chuckle from the hat.

"_Of course, now let's see here..." _The voice trailed off, no doubt scanning his mind. _"Arrogant, cunning, ruthless-"_

"_Comes with the name."_ Pride injected irritably. He just wanted this to be over damnit!

"_Yes, yes I see. Hmmm... and- HOLY SHIT!!!" _ Pride almost winced at the Hat's suddenly deafening tone. Almost. He had a feeling of what was coming next. _"You're supposed to be dead!"_ There it was.

"_No shit Sherlock. Just sort me or I'll shove you through the Gate. I'll do the same if you tell ANYONE about this as well." _Pride drawled with a threatening edge to his tone. The hat seemed to gulp in fear. He could tell that the sin lived up to his threats.

"_O-okay then. SLYTHERIN!!!"_ The last part was called aloud, causing cheers to erupt from the silver and emerald table. Taking the annoying hat off, he stalked over to the table, casting a wink over to Envy, who smirked. Now he knew what house he had to get into.

"Envy." McGonagall once again called, but was slightly disturbed over the fact the hat seemed to be shivering. Said sin walked over calmly, but with a slightly evil smirk on his face. That was the only sign that after this, the hat would need therapy. The hat was once again placed on his head and the whispering came to life within moments inside his mind.

"_Another person brought back from the dead?! Is this school making a zombie film or something-" _The hat began to rant at once. Envy soon lost patience.

"_SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" _Envy mentally roared, silencing the hat with a shutter. _"Put me in the same house as Pride. Now."_ The tone indicated that this threat, much like Pride's, would be carried out. The hat couldn't get the word out of its mouth fast enough.

"_SLYTHERIN!!!"_ The hat yelled. Removing the now traumatized hat from his spiky head, Envy walked over to the emerald table and plopped down beside Pride, both smirking at each other through the loud cheers on the ecstatic table. The cheers soon died down as Dumbledore began to rise for a speech.

"To our newcomers," he began with a smile. "welcome! To our old hands- welcome back! There is a time for speech-making, but this is not it. Tuck in!" With that final word for the moment, he sat back down, causing the plates scattered across the tables to erupt with food. Both sins smirked and began to dig in, ravenous from the long journey. Many on the table glanced at them with approving gazes for not freaking out at the sight of such a quantity of food, before returning to their own meal. Soon enough, a platinum blond sitting near them began the unavoidable questions.

"What was it like in Ametris?" He drawled with a snobbish note clear in his tone. Pride smirked as he answered.

"Boring as hell, but we get to explore and see the country, so it's not all bad." He remarked casually. The platinum blond nodded before gaining his own smirk.

"My name's Malfoy. Draco Malfoy." He stuck out his hand, many watching in amazement that the Malfoy had approved someone so quickly. Both sins took it without thought. They needed allies and he didn't seem like a bad choice. Within moments, the three were chatting mildly about travel, parents and how fame was vital for a family name. Aside from the sins mild explosion about parents once again, they got along great.

Meanwhile, at the teacher's table, Lust calmly ate her salad, listening to the discussion around her. Greed and Snape appeared to hit it off straight away, both comparing ways to torture or annoy children throughout the whole meal. Gluttony however, paid no heed to anyone else near them; instead consuming food at such an extreme rate that many teachers actually threw up. The whole table was clear within minutes, much to the annoyance of everyone else present. Lust sighed and smacked said hungry sin on the head.

"Now Gluttony, what did I tell you about table manners?" She purred dangerously. Gluttony lowered his head in slight shame at having disobeyed.

"Sorry Lust." He mumbled. Greed just snickered. However, before any other disasters could strike the hall, Dumbledore stood up, causing the food to vanish. Everyone turned to him as the speech began.

"Well, now that we are all digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few moments of your attention for the usual start-of-term notices." He announced. By now the hall was silent; crickets could be heard from the nearby forest. "First-years ought to know that the Forest in our school grounds is out-of-bounds to all students- and a few of our older students ought to know by now, too." Several people on the Gryffindor exchanged smirks at the final statement.

"Mr Filch, the caretaker, has asked me, for what he tells me is the four-hundred-and-sixty-second time, to remind you all that magic is not permitted in corridors between classes, nor are a number of other things, all of which can be checked on the extensive list now fastened to Mr Filch's office door." All sins made a mental note to _avoid_ that particular door.

"We have had many changes in staffing this year. We are very pleased to welcome back Professor Grubbly-Plank, who will be taking Care of Magical Creatures lessons. Also I would like to introduce a new subject available to those in third year and above: Self Defence classes. These will be taken by three other teachers travelling with our exchange students from Ametris: Professor Greed and his assistants Professor Lust and Professor Gluttony. Finally, we are delighted to introduce Professor Umbridge, our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher." There were some rather unenthusiastic clapping, but the main source of cheering seemed to be directed to Greed and Lust as catcalls and whistling blow in their direction. The other teachers seemed amused by this. After the flirts and clapping calmed down, Dumbledore continued.

"Tryouts for the house Quidditch teams will take place on the-"He broke off, casting a glance at Umbridge who now stood (though you could barely tell) and clearly wanted to make a speech. Whispers broke out as Umbridge walked around the table and began. Within mere seconds of her taking the stage, both teenage sins once again tuned out the noise, instead opting to plan future pranks on those that annoyed them. Potter and his friends were at the top of the list, with Umbridge as a close second. The woman's tome grated on their eardrums and it was a miracle they didn't bleed.

Not soon enough for some (i.e. Envy and Pride) the speech finished and Umbridge once again clambered back to her seat. Pride looked at Envy with a semi-serious look on his face, the other part showing amusement.

"Looks like the Ministry wants more power, particularly here. Remind you of anywhere?" He grinned, Envy following within moments. This would be entertaining. Mumbling began to stop momentarily as Dumbledore resumed his speech.

"Thank you very much, Professor Umbridge, that was most illuminating." He bowed slightly to her. "Now, as I was saying, Quidditch tryouts will be held..." They drowned the rest out, too tired and bored to truly give a damn. Draco turned to them, a smirk, as always, present on his face.

"You play Quidditch?" He asked mildly, completely disregarding Dumbledore's speech. The two sins shrugged.

"We never got a chance to even learn the rules because we travel so much." Envy lied smoothly. They didn't particularly want anyone to know that, until today, they didn't have a clue what Quidditch was. Malfoy raised an eyebrow, however he seemed to buy the excuse for he shrugged.

"I'll explain tomorrow." He stated casually. Soon a clattering and banging began to echo around the room. Dumbledore had finally dismissed them. "Time to go. Just follow me; I have to take the first years as well because I'm a prefect." He remarked proudly. The sins shrugged and stood up to follow, quickly mouthing "Midnight" to Lust. Receiving her barely perceptible nod, they staked out as they followed Malfoy. The school year was now in session.

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WHEW!!! Don't you dare complain about the time it took for the chapter now! It took so long because 1) Its EXTREMELY long by my standards 2) It was a hard bit to write and 3) I got addicted to Youtube. I made up Envy's height, just guessing it really. Pretty much the whole speech and sorting song are directly from the Order of the Phoenix book, except for the parts I added in. Until the next update, please REVIEW!!!


	5. Meetings

**Rise of the Serpent**

**Summary: **Hogwarts never has been a peaceful place, but when the homunculus show up in disguise to make contact with Voldemort, it becomes chaos. Add Al, Mustang and Hawkeye to the mix... it's going to be a long year. Pride!Ed fic. HPFMA Xover. Set in OOTP, spoilers for those who haven't seen the movie and/or read the book series up to there. BBI universe.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything except the plot. Once again, I apologize if you feel I have stolen Pride's power idea from you, I've had it in my mind for a while now.

**Warnings:** There will undoubtedly be bad language, possible gore (not as much as my other fic mind you) as well as possible bashing. If I don't like a character, you'll be sure to find out. Pride!Ed will not act like at the end of BBI. He'll act noticeably angrier, VERY sarcastic and more than a little insane. Also, he'll be very violent. The ending of BBI will also be slightly ignored as Al and Roy are alive. Same excuse as my last fic. Those who can't be bothered enough to read that fic, it'll be revealed in the story for you. Characters will be possibly slightly OOC.

**Author's Notes: **Sorry for the delay! I just came back from holiday only to arrive back into the midst of a homework flood. Thank you for all the reviews, favourites, alerts etc. Because of your support, we have now reached over 1200 hits!!! I know you are reading this so please review. It's gotten to the point where I have more alerts as well as favourites than reviews. Don't take this fic for granted! Anyway, here's the new chapter.

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Chapter 5 Meetings

Envy and Pride yawned warily as they made their way to the other sins' rooms. It was now midnight and to say the sins wanted to sleep was an understatement. With all the chaos and calamity if yesterday, it was a feat that they weren't already falling asleep standing where they were. The whole sorting had taken its heavy toll on everyone, particularly the grumping immortals still awake and wandering the deserted hallways.

"Why the hell did I tell Lust to have the meeting at midnight again?" Envy grumbled. Pride shrugged but still snorted at the expression on the green haired sin's face- it wasn't often that Envy came this close to whining. However, that didn't mean that he disagreed, far from it in fact. Pride was pissed. Which, when you were supposed to be sneaking around to a secret meeting for what could seriously be considered a revolutionary meeting by all standards, was not a good thing. Luckily though, they soon made it, still undetected, and slipped inside. The others were waiting, all, to the teenage sins' pleasure, looking as tired as them. Greed, as impatient as ever, cut right to the chase.

"Alright! Please explain to me why the hell we're up when right now I could be sleeping." He all but growled. Lust merely glared at him, but replied eventually.

"We need to figure out a way to meet Voldemort. He has definitely risen and is hidden somewhere, but where can we get to him?" She purred thoughtfully. Envy raised an eyebrow.

"We came here for that?! I've already got you covered! We'll just follow Potter. When he finally bites onto Voldy's trap- BANG!!! We'll get 'em." Everyone looked at him in shock, except for Pride, not expecting him to have such a good plan. Envy shrugged. "I have a smart moment occasionally." Lust quickly snapped back to the present.

"Well, that saves us a lot of trouble. Now that we've sorted out a plan, you two should head back to your dorms." She gestured to the teenage sins. Just as they were leaving, Greed called them again.

"Make sure you don't get caught. It doesn't exactly help matters if you do." Pride rolled his eyes.

"Thank you Captain Obvious." With one final glare from Greed, the two teenage sins disappeared into the shadows once again.

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The next morning started like any other, with Gluttony pigging out (once again to the disgust of the teachers) and everyone else desperately attempting to wake themselves up. However, the normality ended as Dumbledore stood up, clearly wishing to speak.

"Your attention please." He waited for silence before he continued. "As many of your may have noticed last night, we had an extra chair or two available at our staff table. They were late for the sorting, unfortunately, due to poor travel arrangements. Fortunately however, they have now arrived with another exchange student, who has already been sorted. May I please present General Mustang, First Lieutenant Hawkeye and Alphonse Elric?" There was some fairly enthusiastic clapping for the new arrivals, punctuated by regular wolf-whistles from the female population. The black haired general seemed to cause them to, like all of the girls back in Central, swoon. However Hawkeye's stern expression prevented the boys from doing the same. But what really got the students attention was the depressed look on the newly named Alphonse.

The sins couldn't prevent their skin from whitening to paleness beyond that of a corpse, nor could Pride and Envy prevent the next words that escaped their lips.

"Oh shit."

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Sorry about the short chapter length, but it was all I could think of for this. I guessed on Mustang's rank for what it would be at the time, so if it's too high a rank, I'll just say he got promoted. The next chapter will be longer, that much I promise you. Also, it will be funnier, more chaotic and will reveal what I believe happened in the end of Bluebird's Illusion. It may also feature some more angst. Please review!


	6. There goes the plan

**Rise of the Serpent**

**Summary: **Hogwarts never has been a peaceful place, but when the homunculus show up in disguise to make contact with Voldemort, it becomes chaos. Add Al, Mustang and Hawkeye to the mix... it's going to be a long year. Pride!Ed fic. HPFMA Xover. Set in OOTP, spoilers for those who haven't seen the movie and/or read the book series up to there. BBI universe.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything except the plot. Once again, I apologize if you feel I have stolen Pride's power idea from you, I've had it in my mind for a while now.

**Warnings:** There will undoubtedly be bad language, possible gore (not as much as my other fic mind you) as well as possible bashing. If I don't like a character, you'll be sure to find out. Pride!Ed will not act like at the end of BBI. He'll act noticeably angrier, VERY sarcastic and more than a little insane. Also, he'll be very violent. The ending of BBI will also be slightly ignored as Al and Roy are alive. Same excuse as my last fic. Those who can't be bothered enough to read that fic, it'll be revealed in the story for you. Characters will be possibly slightly OOC.

**Author's Notes: **Hi! (Dodges random objects thrown) Don't kill the authoress or there won't be any chance of new updates! (Objects stop being thrown) WHEW! Anyway, I'm SOOOOO sorry for the long delay but I can now officially tell you that I will put far more effort into this fic (or The Spirit Alchemist will probably hit me) so you can look forward to more regular updates now.

Regarding the chapter, it's a lot more serious than normal and for that I apologize. It should be back to normal next chapter, which should be out by next weekend or during. Enjoy!

Normal Text

_Emphasised or Thoughts_

Chapter 6 There goes the plan

"Why weren't we told about them?!" Envy growled murderously to Pride, both still in utter shock at the new arrivals. "Wrath should have made sure they DIDN'T come. What the hell are we going to do now?!" Pride nodded in response, worry evident in his blank eyes. They couldn't afford to get revealed on this mission.

"Alphonse Elric," Dumbledore continued, completely oblivious to the expressions of pure horror on all of the sins' faces "has been sorted into Gryffindor. Please welcome him with the same kindness you would any other student." With that, said boy departed to his table, his newly found housemates immediately welcoming him. Pride watched Al be engulfed by the other Gryffindors, the sight awakening a strange emotion in him which he squashed down ruthlessly. He was not Ed. Never would he be him again. Tearing his eyes away, he settled his gaze on Mustang and Hawkeye, watching the slight relief in their eyes become more evident as they watched the younger settle in. They hadn't changed one bit.

"We need to see Lust." Pride murmured. Envy looked at him, taking in the distracted expression. He raised an eyebrow.

"You okay?" Pride sighed.

"I'll be fine. It's just the shock of seeing them, that's all. I've said my goodbyes, they don't matter anymore." Envy nodded, still letting a rare sliver of worry pass over his pale face.

"As long as you're sure." What the two younger sins didn't know was that, at some point during their talk, Hawkeye had noticed them, her amber eyes wide with recognition and shock from her spot at the teacher's table. Lust, however, did. She carefully moved her elbow to swiftly jab Hawkeye in a pressure point without anyone noticing, causing the blond to fall face first into her pancakes. Everyone, including the other sins, quickly noticed and burst into laughter. Envy and Pride in particular were roaring their heads of, having fallen off the bench still clutching their aching ribs. Realizing that people were probably going to start staring at them next, they quickly moved back into their chairs acting normally. But their identical smirks gave away how they really felt.

All too soon though, the fun was over as a concerned Mustang finally managed to awaken an angry Hawkeye, who promptly slapped him at his suggestion to lie down, blushing all the while. Even Al seemed to be amused by the even though a glimmer of concern could be seen in his silver eyes. It seemed he too had not changed at all. Unnoticed throughout the fiassco, the timetables had been handed out. Glancing at them, both teenage sins couldn't prevent the groans that escaped their lips. History of Magic, double Potions, Divination, double Defence against the Dark arts and rounded off with Self-Defence! That had to be the most boring Monday ever devised by humankind, even Father wasn't this bad when he decided to rant about the humans. At least Greed would make things interesting, if only torturing the rest of the class.

Spotting Mustang and Hawkeye beginning to look out at the students, Envy dragged Pride into the midst of a crowd of departing Slytherins. After Pride death-glared at Envy for what felt like five minutes but was actually ten seconds, both sins searched for anyone that they knew (which wasn't very many). To their utter luck, Draco was less than a foot in front of them, having been leading the group out of the hall in the first place. Their relief was almost palible at their unnoticed escape fromm the military.

"Hey Draco." Pride called, causing the blond the spin around in shock, having not noticed their presence before.

"Envy! Pride! How long have you been following me?" He asked, his surprise quickly fading into curiosity. Envy shrugged.

"Since we saw you leaving the Hall. We don't know our way around here yet so we just thought it'd be easier to follow you." He explained, seeming like an innocent explanation. His thoughts, however, were anything but innocent. Pride seemed to pick up on his mood and hurried on.

"Where's History of Magic anyway? It just seems like another random corridor in this goddamn castle." Draco smirked, smugness oozing off of him.

"Just down here. Make sure you pay attention as we go so I won't have to show you two around again." He turned and continued down the corridor, oblivious to the sins' murderous glares aimed at the back of his head.

"_You will pay Malfoy. We may like you, but no one makes a fool out of a homunculus and gets off unscathed. Nobody."_ Pride hissed mentally. He had a feeling that his pride (no pun intended) was going to kill all of his few allies one day, or just maim them. Either worked. Envy's pride had also suffered a similar blow and now both sins were pissed. Malfoy was going to learn a lesson, he just didn't know it yet. Swearing revenge on Malfoy, the two hurried along, eager to get into the classroom and away from anyone else who was stupid enough to make fun of them. In other words, the whole castle. It was going to be a long year.

They had no idea just how right they were when they finally emerged from the classroom one hour and a half later, drained from the exhaustion-inducing lesson. It wasn't that they were tired; it just had been _so_ boring. Pride had fallen asleep five minutes in and Envy was soon to follow. Both of them secretly wondered if they could quit and leave just to get away from the pure boredom. But that hadn't been the only reason. No, the other reason was that, only on the other side of the room, was Alphonse Elric. He was fully decked out in his new Gryffindor uniform and dutifully taking notes of the boring lecture, somehow immune to the teacher's drone. Both sins hoped that he hadn't spotted them. Not wanting to tempt fate, they quickly ran to the dungeons. At least they knew where _this_ class was.

There! Finally another chapter done! Before you ask, no I don't hate Hawkeye. I just noticed how tense the situation was and decided to add in a little humour, with Hawkeye being the poor recipient. But I did manage a little Royai fluff so it wasn't all bad. Hope you enjoyed it and please review!


	7. Revenge is Sweet

**Rise of the Serpent**

**Summary: **Hogwarts never has been a peaceful place, but when the homunculus show up in disguise to make contact with Voldemort, it becomes chaos. Add Al, Mustang and Hawkeye to the mix... it's going to be a long year. Pride!Ed fic. HPFMA Xover. Set in OOTP, spoilers for those who haven't seen the movie and/or read the book series up to there. BBI universe.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything except the plot. Once again, I apologize if you feel I have stolen Pride's power idea from you; I've had it in my mind for a while now.

**Warnings:** There will undoubtedly be bad language, possible gore (not as much as my other fic mind you) as well as possible bashing. If I don't like a character, you'll be sure to find out. Pride!Ed will not act like at the end of BBI. He'll act noticeably angrier, VERY sarcastic and more than a little insane. Also, he'll be very violent. The ending of BBI will also be slightly ignored as Al and Roy are alive. Same excuse as my last fic. Those who can't be bothered enough to read that fic, it'll be revealed in the story for you. Characters will be possibly slightly OOC.

**Author's Notes:** Hi! (Notices lack of projectiles and grins) Told you I would update again on the weekend and here it is. Well, close enough to the weekend anyway. Enjoy!

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_Thoughts or Emphasized Text_

Chapter 7 Revenge is Sweet

Envy and Pride grinned, both feeling very accomplished and, even better, smug. Potions had been an interesting experience to say the least. For Malfoy and a certain Golden Boy, it was probably Hell. Not that they cared or anything. Everything had gone perfectly...

_Flashback_

The two sins burst into the classroom, attracting the cold yet slightly curious gaze of their new head of house. Both sins weren't sure if the coldness was a good thing, having never had to experience the man's presence before.

"Why would two students, even if they are from my own house, make such an effort at getting to class early?" Snape asked softly. The two in question shrugged.

"We were trying to avoid the Gryffindors." Envy answered simply. Well, it was the half truth: they _were_ trying to avoid Alphonse. But that didn't cover the fact they didn't want to embarrass themselves (however small a thing it may be) in front of Malfoy. They knew enough about Snape to know he preferred it when housemates got along instead of trying to kill each other. Back in the present, said teacher shrugged, apparently satisfied with the answer. The two sins quickly found a table near the back and sat down, waiting for the rest of the class to arrive.

They arrived sooner than Envy had wanted but as they had no control over the minds of others (yet), there was nothing the sins could do about it except sulk. Everyone seemed to notice the pissed sins and avoided them as a result. Snape had his "teacher" face on by now and was sneering down at the now gathered class.

"Settle down." He ordered; his voice as icy as usual. It was hardly needed though: the class was _always_ silent when they entered Snape's lair. They never wanted to face his wrath. As everyone finally settled down, Snape began to talk. A lot. In fact, he began to talk so much that everyone wondered if he was a closet chatterbox. Either way, he seemed to rage on for roughly five minutes on why they had to study hard for the OWLs or suffer his..._displeasure_. In the sins' opinion, it was a brilliant way to start the year: scare the crap out of everyone about the future. However, both soon picked up on the fact that during his speech, Snape seemed to be staring at some Gryffindors in particular: Neville and Harry. Pride's lip curled into a smirk. How ironic that the first humans they meet on this trip seem to be the greatest annoyances of their allies.

Just as the teenage sins began to feel slightly sleepy from a combination of a late night and History of Magic after-effects, they noticed Snape had turned his head towards them. It didn't take long to figure out what he was going to do.

"We have three new students joining our class today, two of which I don't doubt for one second already surpass many of those present." He sneered at the Gryffindors while the Slytherins smirked and chuckled. It was always entertaining to watch the so called "brave" house flinch before their head of house. Envy and Pride themselves grinned maliciously, enjoying the fact that this class was in fact a simple way to torture the kids. What they didn't notice though was that many students nearby had seen their fang-like teeth and had begun to edge away. They really were creepy. All the while this happened; Al sat quietly, listening to everything being said with a sense of confusion. Who were the other two new students? Were they people he knew? An uncountable number of questions swirled in the young alchemist's head, none of which had answers. He'd just have to find out for himself.

Meanwhile, back with the rest of the class, Snape was finally giving out the instructions that everyone had waited to hear: start making the potion. Envy and Pride sprang up, eager to get started. They had actually done their research about this before they came and knew now that it would be the perfect time to get revenge on Malfoy and maybe even the Golden Trio. This particular potion, the Draught of Peace, was _extremely_ complex for a coming back potion and therefore an even easier target for disaster. Perfect. The sins started on their work. However, instead of grabbing in from the store cupboard, Envy stole Harry's syrup of Hellebore as he passed by. Both sins couldn't prevent the smirk forming on their faces as their eyes met: the "Golden Boy's" potion would be ruined before he knew it. Without a word, both started on their work.

After what seemed like forever to the Gryffindors, and the actual one hour and twenty minutes it was to the Slytherins, there were only ten minutes to go. Malfoy's potion had begun to bubble rapidly, thick grey smog rising from it. That was not a good sign. Pride, his own potion perfect, grinned widely, then pulled out a tail from a newt that he had stolen out of the store cupboard. Without a word, he threw it hard into Malfoy's cauldron, speeding like a bullet into the mixture before anyone could notice but the sins. The result was instant.

**BOOM!!!!**

Everyone looked up in shock (except Pride and Envy, who were struggling to keep straight faces) at the mess that had once been Draco Malfoy. His robes were singed and covered in ash, making him look like he had just survived a volcanic eruption. Everywhere on his body except his hair had also been covered in the smog. His hair though had suffered a worse fate: it had turned shocking pink. Needless to say, Pride was very pleased. Snape, on the other hand, was seething.

"Who has done this?!" He growled, staring murderously at the cowering Gryffindors. "I know that Malfoy did not add the tail of newt, so which of _you_ has done it?" No one in the class admitted the deed, so Snape stalked away, muttering his revenge against the Lions. Potions had just become Hell for Gryffindors. Malfoy was taken to the Hospital Wing, all the while whining at how he was dying and how his father would hear about this. Frankly, it disgusted the sins how bitchy he was and vowed never to go near him again. They had enough to worry about as it was.

Five minutes later (and one calming draught for Snape), said teacher performed his rounds, eying the potions with either looks of pride (Slytherins) or disgust (Gryffindors). It seemed that Envy, Pride, Hermione AND Al had all managed perfect potions, much to the shock of all present. Normally, only Hermione came anywhere near perfection, but to have the three new students do as well was incredible. Hermione looked outraged. Harry himself had failed miserably, having forgotten to add syrup of Hellebore (Envy snickered), his potion had been declared useless and vanished as a result by a gleeful Snape.

At last, the bell rang, and Harry seemed to stalk out of the classroom as fast as humanly possible, desperate to get out of the dungeons. The sins watched everyone's attempts to leave as quickly as they could, not moving in the slightest. They had one more step to fulfil in their plan (cue evil laughter). As the class left though, one brown haired boy glanced quickly back at the sins, wondering just why they looked so familiar even in the shadows that covered them. Shrugging his shoulders, Al left, deciding to get some lunch before he worried anymore. This left Snape and the sins once more.

"What can I do for you two?" Snape smirked. After scoring perfectly in his class, he seemed to have taken a liking to them. That was a good thing. Envy smiled in return.

"We found this," he held out what remained of Pride's newt "on Potter's cutting board. We're positive that he was the one who threw the newt tail." A positively evil look crossed Snape's face and even Pride was impressed.

"Thank you. You may leave now." Recognising the obvious dismissal, the two walked out.

_End Flashback_

Envy and Pride cackled as they thought over what had happened. It was definitely going to be fun seeing Harry's face when he gets the letter. They could hardly wait. Still thinking about why revenge was just so sweet, the two drifted into the Great Hall.

There! An extra long chapter for you! Sorry that I didn't write out the whole of Snape's speech, it was just so long and I thought this version suited the sins more. In the book it said that Harry simply forgot to add the Hellebore, but I really can't see him doing that. So instead Envy stole it. Hope you don't mind my changes to the story too much. Please review!


	8. Stupid Bloody Midgets

**Rise of the Serpent**

**Summary: **Hogwarts never has been a peaceful place, but when the homunculus show up in disguise to make contact with Voldemort, it becomes chaos. Add Al, Mustang and Hawkeye to the mix... it's going to be a long year. Pride!Ed fic. HPFMA Xover. Set in OOTP, spoilers for those who haven't seen the movie and/or read the book series up to there. BBI universe.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything except the plot. Once again, I apologize if you feel I have stolen Pride's power idea from you; I've had it in my mind for a while now.

**Warnings:** There will undoubtedly be bad language, possible gore (not as much as my other fic mind you) as well as possible bashing. If I don't like a character, you'll be sure to find out. Pride!Ed will not act like at the end of BBI. He'll act noticeably angrier, VERY sarcastic and more than a little insane. Also, he'll be very violent. The ending of BBI will also be slightly ignored as Al and Roy are alive. Same excuse as my last fic. Those who can't be bothered enough to read that fic, it'll be revealed in the story for you. Characters will be possibly slightly OOC.

**Author's Notes:** I'm not even going to bother writing an excuse for the lateness of this update. All I can say is that exams sucks, teachers are sadists and homework never seems to end. Enough said. Hope that it's good enough for the wait!

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Chapter 8 Stupid Bloody Midgets

As Envy and Pride entered the Great Hall, they immediately noticed two things: one, Al was sitting with the Gryffindors and that if he looked up he would undoubtedly see them; and also Mustang was already present at the teachers table. Deciding that it would probably be a good idea to remain undetected for as long as possible, both sins quickly hurried to their table. They didn't want the pipsqueak to spot them yet and definitely didn't want him to make a scene exclaiming that they should be dead. It wouldn't exactly help their cover.

They sat down and instantly started to fill their plates, uncaring that many were now staring at them and wondering how the hell they managed to stay so thin despite the fact they ate more than Hagrid did. A sin never revealed their secrets though, so one simple "What the fuck are you staring at?!" later and everything returned to normal once again. Envy grinned when he noticed Potter storm out of the Hall, inwarding wondering what would happen when Snape caught up with him. It would be worth watching for sure. Pride noticed this as well.

"What's eating him?" He commented lazily, not really caring about the answer. As far as he was concerned, Harry was just another albeit more annoying brat. Envy shrugged.

"Don't know, don't care. You should try the Shepherd's Pie; it's actually pretty damn good." With that final comment, both went silent, focussed completely on the food in front of them. They never saw silver eyes rise somewhat in their direction, then widen abruptly as they finally noticed the two sins eating lunch. Both eyes were filled with shock and horror, but a small amount of hope was visible in the depths. Al looked down again at his food, suddenly not hungry, and hurried to his next lesson, ignoring the calls of his friends behind him. This is what finally caught the sins' attention, both noticing his expression easily.

"Damnit! I was hoping we'd last a few more days at least. Stupid bloody midget!" Pride growled angrily. Envy just snarled, terrifying the local Slytherins who began to edge away. Evidently they'd never seen an angry homunculus before. Lust also seemed to notice as she scowled and discreetly motioned for them to calm down. They didn't need to make a scene. Without a word, the two teenage sins stood up and stalked out of the Great Hall, a tangible thundercloud hovering above them. Needless to say, no one dared to disturb them.

Both sins soon reached the staircases and began to storm up them, barging past many students on the way up and also sending one first year Hufflepuff flying over the railing. Luckily (or perhaps unluckily for the sins), she was rescued inches before hitting the floor. However, it seemed that she'd still fallen unconscious and had crapped herself from sheer fright, much to the sins' amusement. But neither sin stopped to watch, simply ploughing on ahead, calls of "Hayley? Wake up!" echoing behind them (I apologize if your name is Hayley; this is simply revenge on a friend of mine who is called Hayley).

Soon enough they reached the top of the staircase and found themselves with nothing to do once again. It didn't help one bit that they were still pissed off about Al though. That just made it Hell. However, it seemed that worse could, and would, still happen. This was proved when a familiar face called out to them.

"You!" Unsure at whom was being addressed as well as pissed at being called like that, Envy and Pride turned simultaneously, identical snarls on their lips, before freezing in shock: it was Al that had called them. Envy recovered first.

"Hey pipsqueak, what do you want? Can't you see we're busying scaring the shit out of people right now?" He drawled lazily, pointing at the still unmoving form of the Hufflepuff. Al frowned.

"What are you doing here? You're supposed to still be in Ametris or dead!" He cried out. Pride smirked.

"Supposed to be and how things actually are two completely different things kid. I thought you knew that by now. Never expect anything." He scolded slightly, but the grin on his face made Al unsure of whether or not he was teasing. Envy intervened.

"Look, I know you see us as the oh so bad homunculi who want to destroy everything blah blah blah. But the thing is that we're actually not trying to cause too much trouble this time. Honest. We just needed a break and this place was just perfect for it. So listen. Don't spoil our fun just because you hold stupid grudges. Got it?" Envy lied smoothly, yet still didn't give anything away when talking. He really was the perfect liar. Al, like any other mortal who didn't know Envy well enough, fell for it. Somewhat anyway.

"Okay, I won't say anything. But if I find out that you're lying to me, you'll be found out before you can say "sin". Don't be surprised if I talk to you. I'm going to keep my eyes on you. Just like brother would have done." Al retorted calmly yet determinedly. Pride flinched. He knew what Al was looking for: pieces of Ed left over in him. But there really wasn't any of Ed left. Besides, he wasn't planning on letting some suicidal moron who got himself killed ruin his life. That was his job damnit! Envy picked up on his discomfort.

"Leave Pride alone, Alphonse. There's none of your precious Fullmetal left in him so just give it up already!" He growled. Al looked sheepish for a moment but soon regained his previous expression.

"I won't let Ed just fade away. There's no way I'm going to give up!" He replied. Pride could practically feel the stubbornness of the boy pulsating off of him. There was no way they were going to convince him to leave them alone with Al like this, so they simply decided to try again later.

"Whatever pipsqueak. Just don't blame me if your little Edo doesn't come crawling back to you." Pride drawled. With that said, the two of them stalked off, leaving one confused Gryffindor behind. But right now they had other things to worry about: they had Divination next, then Defence against the Dark Arts and finally Self Defence. It really was a crappy way to the start the week.

Whew! I hope you don't mind the little confrontation too much, but (as The Spirit Alchemist pointed out to me) it would have made Al seem really stupid if he hadn't spotted them soon. Should have lots of humour next chapter but I make no guarantees. Next chapter should be posted within a week or two but don't hold me to that as I have a French speaking Exam within a few weeks and two IAAs this week alone. That aside, please review!


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